Thursday, December 30, 2010

Oh! Well imagine...

Poor groom's bride is a whore.

I chime in with haven't you people ever heard of closing the g*****n door!

There is this person... lets call her Q. Q is an unstoppable tart. I use this word because there are a lot of people who don't know the meaning. She doesn't sleep with all the guys but I don't think she knows the meaning of the word single. Single is the only word I know. Boys are not important to me. Do not get me wrong I do want a boyfriend but I just don't have the energy or social hierarchy to have a suitor. But if Mr. Perfect did come around wishing to sweep me off my feet I certainly wouldn't turn him away. But as for this Q, she is ridiculous. Being a close friend of mine I find it surprising that I have never even heard of many of her boy toys. I want her to be happy but she goes around dating guys that she knows will take scissors to her already healing heart. I guess she will just keep getting herself into this situation despite my approval. Even though she doesn't listen to me... I hope she doesn't keep it up.

Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Sad is an interesting word. It can mean pathetic. It can mean depressed. It can mean horrible. Terrible. Useless. However you put it sad means bad. Sad = Bad. It is an unwelcoming and overwhelming feeling. An emotion so complex yet so simple. I am sad. I am pathetic. I am depressed. But most of all I have the lack of happiness. I go through pain. It does not go away. I take medicine. The medicine blocks it temporarily. I always do something wrong. This feeling makes me hate myself. I just want to die sometimes. I think about the ways to. But I know my family would miss me. They would miss me even though I am sad. I want to be happy. It just doesn't work. My happy is broken. Maybe it is becausing I feel I am always doing something wrong even when I try to correct my mistakes. I feel like they blame me for the problems. Even though they have problems of their own. Then they don't trust me. I give them every reason to. I don't lie. At least not consciencly. This is my heart sliced open. All of it's contents out for you to see. Enjoy. Do with it what you wish. But just remember... I cannot be fixed.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Time may change me, but I can't change time

I know I am not the only one to say this but I hate change. The sad part is we all change and we don't even know it. I remember I used to love JKLProductions on youtube, original home of the infamous Fred. Now I think back and they are actually pretty stupid videos. I have moved on to stars like Shane Dawson. Or like how I used to get mad at my friends because they were boycrazy... I look back now and realize I was just jealous. I'm not now. But as with change comes mistake. And every mistake you make you learn a little more. You may regret the mistakes you make but altogether they make you a better person. On the other hand if you don't accept change it can turn on you. You can change without realizing it. Then not accept it. Then lose a friend who really cared about you. Change can range from the big, like moving from the Western United States to the South. Or change can be small, like trying something new. Just take it as it comes. And most of all accept it.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010


Hmm... Where to begin. Well I have been sick the past few days. It honestly sucks. Out of nowhere I got inspired to write a blog about well... you see the title. It is someone's youtube name. I couldn't agree with it more. It is true. I mean in the end no one dies a virgin, cause we all get screwed. Haha a little morbid humor there. But that isn't the topic of this Blog. The topic is fitting in... or should I say standing out. Is it just me or are there so many people out there trying to stand out there is no such thing anymore. I mean people want to be different but by birth we are ALL different. Unless your like that cloned dog. But back to the point... Why stand out if there isn't such a thing. For instance people are coming up with ridiculous ways to stand out. Like being pale? Or putting African rings (*cough* gauges *cough*) in your ears? Whats next? Those freakish rings that make your neck into a piece of rubber? I have a feeling someone reading this will go try it. I know everyone doesn't like something about themselves, but you should change something to make yourself comfortable. Not to fit in... or out. Be yourself. That is what I am. I might have suckishly low self-confidence but I don't change things to make friends and I don't change things to be different. Everyone should just stop trying so hard to be different/clone-like and be themselves. In the end we all end up 6 feet under. Why not enjoy it while it lasts.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Depress shine?

I can say that less than a week ago I was truly completely happy. Now as the weekend hits I feel like crap, physically and mentally. Why? That is what I want to know. Maybe it is because I am fearing being stood up to hang out by my best friend. Or maybe it is because life in the romance section hasn't changed since... the day I was born. Or maybe it is because I am just plain ole' bored. Or maybe just maybe I have to much on my plate. Or maybe I am too anxious for the summer. I don't know but it is all driving me crazy. My head constantly hurts, I feel feverish and nauseated , and I want to cry. Why? I don't know. I am just sick of it. I don't even have the option of suicide. And I haven't been to my psychiatrist in so many weeks I lost count! HELP! Please, I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay! That and a boyfriend would be nice too!

Sunday, January 3, 2010


I am posting this as a bulletin because I actually WANT people to read this. This is for all you people who don't talk to me because I am in a wheelchair. All those guys who take me out of the running for girlfriend because I can't walk. All those girls who won't be my friend because they don't know how to treat me. Well treat me like a normal person. I lack social skills but that is not because I am shy even though that is a HUGE part of it. It is because people assume I am a mental retard or I don't WANT friends. Neither of those are true. Everyone has problems... mentally physically etc... mine are just a whole hell of a lot more obvious. I know this will most likely not get read but to those who do read it thank-you. Thanks for giving a shit about me more than anyone else. And thanks for listening.