Friday, November 25, 2011

Plain 'Ole Super Stressed Out High School Senior. . . Just Add Frequent Panic Attacks

Today me and my family celebrated Thanksgiving... Take note it is Black Friday and not the actual Thanksgiving. This included non-relatives, stupid teenage tantrums, someone showing up when we're all finished eating, football (which I kinda think I hate by the way), and of course food beyond the stomachs capacity. I didn't eat a hole lot because I had a horrible stomach ache going into the whole thing. Then I found out that my seester (not exactly a sister) is gonna be an extra on one of my favorite shows. It really isn't that I'm not happy for her. I'm thrilled, I even offered her to borrow a dress since she needs FIVE! Crazy, right? Anyway, as I was saying I'm so happy for her, but honestly I'm jealous, secretly everyone has a hidden dream, mine is to be an actress. It sorta hurts. But I really am happy for her cause I love her and everyone deserves their star moment. It sucks knowing I'm 8 months away from being old enough. That and my horrible stomach ache calls for the first break down. Then my social anxiety from being in a crowded room, my hyperventilating from laughter of my mom attacking Katy, and some harsh insults I had coming but wasn't up to caused my second meltdown. That was all I really needed, but the night ended (so far) on a higher note. I watched a few movies with just my mom and my brother, had some apple cider, and a conversation about school, the future, and my attitude lately. I realized though... this is my life. It is normal, in a way that all seniors in high school face. They all deal with deadlines, homework, grades, jobs, home pressure, friends, boyfriends, applications, scholarships, and well... life. It sucks but at least in some bizarre way I am getting some form of normalness, through out all this. It is kind of refreshing.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Bloggers Block

So for an insane amount of time I've been wanting to post a blog about... well that seems to be the problem. Anytime I have an idea for a blog I feel like I'm just going to bitch about my life. I don't want my blog to be a pessimistic view of my life. I want it to be a journal of my journeys! A diary of my Dares. A telling of my truths. A tale of my talks and my thoughts. But nothing sad. Now all my posts are from the view of a depressed smartass teenager. Not to mention I'm preaching to a very empty choir. Plus I just found out Tate is the baby daddy of Vivs unknown Rubber Man lovechild. But this is gonna change as a become an adult. As I form bonds with new people and start my life. 1st good thing: I'm almost finished with my TAMUCC application. I just need to figure out a way around my writers block so I can figure out a way to write damn good essays for the scholarships I'm applying to.

Oh well now back to feeding my American Horror Story addiction.