Love and Loss.

Everyone (exaggerating a little) love love loves the holidays. It is a time for coming together and rejoicing in the everyday gifts we often take for granted. I love the family aspect of it all. My family is big a warm like that blanket you always wrap around yourself while sitting around the fire.Now if that's a snuggie you are reserved a spot in a special form of hell. But back to the point. The holidays can also be uber stressful. So many gifts to wrap, cookies to bake, cards to send, and so very little time. We decided to stay home this year to save money. But with what we do to lessen the stress more comes and takes it's place. My mother found out she has pre-cancerous cells in her breast. Brittany is preparing to leave as Eric's death date grows closer. And to ice the stressful cake my dad got the shit beat out of him. I was so strong about the negative things until my dad was put in the hospital Christmas Eve. It broke down the paper wall I had up. Finally making it through Christmas I and the rest of the house started calming down... except for my mom who is having hormone imbalance and has been forgetting to take her anti-depressant. But I'd say we all finally got what we needed last night. My brother proposed to his girlfriend and she said yes. I'm finally getting a sister and to be a bridesmaid. We got a little light shined in the dark hole we were stuck in. Just proof love really does defeat all. <3 p="p">

How chocolate makes everything better!

Or Comment chocolat rend tout meilleur!
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So I woke up expecting another drowsy day in the world of the unemployed.  My mom told me that we were going to the Social Security office. The night before we found out my benefits were ending at the end of the month. Being wheelchair bound due to a disease I really depend on my Medicaid. It helps with medication, therapy (this physical kind; I'm done with the mental kind), and of course doctors appointments. Without it... lets just not think about that. Now SSI is money the government gives out to people who need it.. people with disabilities or elderly or even the desperately poor. Well I went in, got my Medicaid back, then my SSI. Well I told them I had a certain rent (I do) and they give me LESS than that. No money to live on.

On the flip side:

I ate some delicious chocolate and cussed for a while figuring I would be PO'd about this for a while. When I got home I had a message. Flashback:
I signed up for a childrens with disabilities Wish foundation in June and just had to send in my three wish options. The first was to go to France. Paris of course and then some places in the country where my family is from. But that was probably not going to happen due to CRAP economy in the great USA. The second was to meet Katy Perry. What can I say? I like her music! Then the last was to go to New York. I've been wanting to go for years.
So I get a call from such and such organization and the lady says she has some great news. Then the best words came out of her mouth. "Kristin's wish to go to France got approved!"

Well I have to go to bed but expect to be updated. :-)

Fate of the Fake

Over the weekend I had a friend stay over because her parents were going out of town. Let me tell you she is one of my best friends and she always has a place to stay with me... well... maybe not now. So my parents were a-ok with it because we don't need to take care of her... She is completely independant. She doesn't have a car so she needed rides. That was a little annoying cause she never gave us a time that she'd be home. So we go "Alright, that's fine!"... next thing you know we are signed up to take care of her dogs.

      We agree because all we have to do is bring her over to take care of them 3 times a day. So she is all cool... then one day she's out all day and when she wants to come home at midnight and expects a ride. Now to know how ridiculous this is you must know a few things: a.) She said she'd be back in the evening. b.) My step-dad (her chauffer) goes to sleep at 7 p.m. c.) He's horrible at relaying messages. d.) She left at 9 a.m. So back to story... So I keep leaving messages trying to find out what the hell is going on at about 8. I'm not feeling well and am as confused as HELL! 

       I finally hear back from her at 11. She's pissed. She sent a message to my phone earlier that day saying that if anybody is bored go hang out with her dogs. Her words exactly. Me and my mom (who never got a message) were out all day and I never brought my phone. Finally step-dad picks her up and they go get her dogs who have been inside (one in a kennel) all day... for 15 hours. She chastises step-dad in car.

Act II

The next day she ignores me. I'm extremely upset. My mom's mama bear instinct kicks in. According to my friend my mom said something to her while she was lying down for a nap. I don't believe it. She trash talks my mom an AWFUL lot for a "good" friend. I take a nap because I'm not feeling well (like I said before). When I get up I go to the living room and parents are gone [they had plans]. She (friend) is just sitting there playing with her phone. So we talk. I blame myself. I figured if I would've brought my phone we could've let the dogs out. I finally realize I have NOTHING to do with this. She blames 4 people for this incident. Me, my step-dad, my mom, and my sister (who was also giving her rides). She says the first 3 were in the room when she told stepdad he needed to check on the dogs that day. Truth is me and my mom were both in other rooms sleeping when that conversation took place. We were NOT AT ALL to blame. She had texted my sister telling her what she needed. My sis and step-dad took FULL responsibility. But me and my mom were never to blame. Now she puts ALL the blame on us. Fair? No, we did nothing wrong. So she got a ride from sis and surprise, surprise... She made it so sister wouldn't be upset. She wants her on her good side. She even lied and made it seem we were trash talking my sister (not technically my real sister, btw). 

       Now what did we learn from this rant? Good communication and being truthful are uber important. In fact it can ruin a friendship. It's ruin plenty of mine. The people who forgot to let her dogs out were sorry and helped clean up the mess. She came up with an excuse to be mad at my mom. I never let anyone mess with  and I'm done having a friend who is disrespecting my mom the way she is. We've treated her like gold for years and now I don't want to see her face.

And to the person this story is about stop blaming innocent people for stupid shit, hun.

Insanernet

People and the internet. The internet is a crazy ass place to be. You can be literally whoever you want. That can be really bad. You can be drawn out to be a bitch, you can get fired from your job for complaining about it or having pictures that have a bad "image" for your company, or even meeting that hot girl you've been chatting it up with on Facebook who actually turns out to be a forty-something year old man with a large beer belly and more hair on his butt crack than on his head. It can also be really good. You can meet friends, find your soul mate, be superman, learn new things, e.t.c... A total creep was freaking out on a Yahoo article because she was mad that the article was saying Kim Kardashian had a hickey. She said it was psoriasis. (It wasn't). How I know that is a not very interesting story. So someone who was a medical professional told her it was a hickey. She got pissed and turned into a total bitch. I didn't know this and saw it was the first comment that popped up and she became more pissed because it was from April. She also got mad cause she thought I called her a ho (it was supposed to say who) which if I did call her a hoe I would spell it right. Then she told me I was stupid for being 18 (which says a lot because I'm smarter than her). And she topped it off with telling me to jump off a bridge. Where do people get off saying this kind of shit? I don't understand! I've said things I regret on the internet but I mainly defend people because idiots bully them. I think everyone does this. You say things that are hurtful and you just want to take them back. Suck up the words that flowed from your brain to the page. The good thing is the internet has your back. Just remake your profile right? WRONG! The best thing to do is apologize, defend yourself, or end the conversation. Just don't be rude about it. I replied to this girls horrible message and although what I said wasn't anything close to as hurtful as her words (just correcting my ho thing, although I did say she was not as smart as me which wasn't being the bigger person) I felt bad about it. So I blocked her. Hopefully she won't read the message and that'll be the end of it. But it is okay to block it. It is better than giving them a dose of their own bitter medicine and you don't have to face the problem anymore or make an ass of yourself. But you should apologize first. Even if it wasn't your fault it cools down the situation. But lets face it... Most people don't care about apologies. I have a friend who is dealing or has dealt with this before... actually I have a lot. And I even have gotten hurt off words on the internet. A guy told me I wasn't a good person for thinking I was. I've gotten my friends to break my heart by saying things... And I've done the same to them. But I'm planning on never being RUDE on the internet again... Sassy, sarcastic, and corrective/protective. Yes. But there is no reason to tell someone to jump off a bridge. So follow my lead and Follow way up there:         

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